Gonzogate, Iraqnam, rivers, and erased... emails?

Gonzogate

Pardon me in advance, if I am wrong... if my memory is bad, because I was really quite young at the time of the last major, presidential scandal in Washington. I'm referring to the 'real' one,' not that sex charade. I'm referring to the one that included a war, broken laws, refused subpoenas, whistle-blowers, leaks and missing evidence. I believe it was called Watergate.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A 16-day gap in e-mail records between the Justice Department and the White House concerning the firing of U.S. attorneys last year has attracted the attention of congressional investigators.

Does this '16-day gap in e-mail records' business look familiar? As in perhaps, the '18-minute gap in the Nixon tapes? History is so unoriginal.


Iraqnam

I recently heard that Jeremy Scahill's new book: 'Blackwater,' is taking the country (OK; the handful of actual book readers remaining on the planet) by storm. It is about the 'Blackwater army', or Blackwater USA, a small, North Carolina-based private security company now operating under the government's protection within Iraq:

"What we have right now is something worse than the wild, wild west going on in Iraq," Callahan says. "Blackwater is able to operate over there in Iraq free from any oversight that would typically exist in a civilized society. As we expose Blackwater in this case, it will also expose the inefficient and corrupt system that exists over there."

It appears Blackwater is currently in a little legal trouble here at home:

Blackwater is facing a potentially devastating battle--this time not in Iraq but in court. The company has been slapped with a lawsuit that, if successful, will send shock waves through the world of private security firms, a world that has expanded significantly since Bush took office. Blackwater is being sued for the wrongful deaths of Stephen "Scott" Helvenston, Mike Teague, Jerko Zovko and Wesley Batalona by the families of the men slain in Falluja.

A river runs through... everything

Once again, I can't help but get flashbacks, but this time I don't have to go back nearly as far - and its really just... the names.

What is it with rivers lately?

Has anyone else noted the rampaging ironies here? Especially where water, or more specifically rivers are concerned. While Clinton was in office, we had a 'Whitewater' controversy (now, mere water under the bridge.) Fast forward, Bush is in office, and we have a 'Blackwater' controversy. At first glance, this is a bit surreal.

Has someone been dumping oil in the Potomac? Have the 'Whitewater' rapids suddenly turned black with leaching crude?

(Probably a Texan. Those dirty Republicans...)

For those of us who didn't believe all issues were either 'black or white;' this proves we were mistaken. Or maybe this only applies to 'river' controversies, as they apply to presidential administrations (or flowing in the background of presidential administrations. You will notice that no one actually gets their feet wet in these controversies.)

And now we are treated to the resurrections of both Kenneth Starr (Blackwater's legal counsel,) and Newt Gingrich - who now admits he was committing adultery the entire time he was pointing fingers at Bill Clinton. OK, Newt isn't a river, I just wanted to throw that in here. Newt never found his Whitewater justice, but he sure managed to pull off the hypocritical feat of the political century.

Is this tabloid material - or am I dreaming?

Why on earth did the media spend weeks droning on and on about Anna Nichole Smith, when there was a veritable river of sensationalism flowing out of Washington?

"Oh Blackwater, keep on roll'n..."

I'll bet this Blackwater river turns out to be just as inscrutable as the Mighty Mississippi - or Alberto Gonzales, for that matter.

"...he must know somethin, but don't say nothin..."