Let every American, every lover of liberty, every well wisher to his posterity, swear by the blood of the Revolution, never to violate in the least particular, the laws of the country; and never to tolerate their violation by others.

As the patriots of seventy-six did to the support of the Declaration of Independence, so to the support of the Constitution and Laws, let every American pledge his life, his property, and his sacred honor; let every man remember that to violate the law, is to trample on the blood of his father, and to tear the charter of his own, and his children's liberty.

Let reverence for the laws, be breathed by every American mother, to the lisping babe, that prattles on her lap; let it be taught in schools, in seminaries, and in colleges; let it be written in Primers, spelling books, and in Almanacs; let it be preached from the pulpit, proclaimed in legislative halls, and enforced in courts of justice. And, in short, let it become the political religion of the nation; and Let the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the grave and the gay, of all sexes and tongues, and colors and conditions, sacrifice unceasingly upon its altars.

While ever a state of feeling, such as this, shall universally, or even, very generally prevail throughout the nation, vain will be every effort, and fruitless every attempt, to subvert our national freedom.

- Abraham Lincoln, January 27, 1838
  Address Before the Young Men's Lyceum of Springfield, Illinois

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Reporting LIVE from the bunkers of Indiana

Golly jeepers, what a show! Thank you -- thank you Jon Stewart and Rob Riggle for finally reporting on the living hell we Hoosiers face here every day, in our frightening outdoor summer markets!

Much to my surprise, I turned on The Daily Show tonight for another installment of Operation Silent Thunder Fluffy Bunny, only to discover it was all about how closely Iraq resembles Indiana in the summertime!

It appears Rep Mike Pence was right!

Oh wait. Rob: you're saying you didn't find any similarities? NONE AT ALL? Could it be... that our representative Mike Pence lied to us?

Yes, it seems that Rob Riggle couldn't find a single Hoosier in Iraq that would acknowledge, or could find... well, even one similarity between Iraq and Indiana. Not even the food!

Well that's just ducky. Because -- due entirely to Pence's early warning -- outdoor markets have been a big concern to Hoosiers this summer:

Mike Pence's recent comment comparing shopping in a Baghdad bazaar with 'a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime' has many Hoosiers baffled and bewildered.

Should we buy flak jackets for that stroll through the weekly farmers market this summer? Are the farmers crankier than last year; perhaps because of the frost damage this past week?

Or did Mr Pence simply spend too long in the Iraqi sun? He should come home. It's snowing here.

We do have a town in Indiana named Lebanon... but I've never heard of any IEDs going off there - or anywhere else for that matter. We also don't have a proclivity for snipers, suicide bombers, or anything more exciting than an occasional fire cracker.

Still, many of us are considering that perhaps we are simply behind the times. Maybe Rep. Pence knows more than we do... it doesn't hurt to take precautions.

I know I'll be procuring protective gear before I head out to buy tomatoes this summer...

So there you have it. We've been taking precautions ALL SUMMER, thanks to the timely advice of our own dear representative Mike Pence. And now we're finding out -- thanks to the investigative reporting of Rob Riggle -- that this was all for nothing!

Do you know how hot those flak jackets are in this humidity?

Well anyway... it was nice seeing and hearing from fellow Hoosiers serving in Iraq, if nothing else.

/feduphoosier waves to fellow Hoosiers in Iraq!

I do however have a message for those of you bozo representatives from Indiana who persist in embarrassing the hell out of the rest of the populace in this long suffering state: ENOUGH. Give us a break already. We're still recovering from the lingering stigma of Dan Quayle...

Just shoot me.

No wait... I was kidding! /dives for cover as the wind blows through the branches of the trees outside my window, making very scary noises... a snap of a twig, or maybe even a falling branch! Eek!

---- This is feduphoosier, reporting LIVE from the bunkers of Indiana. All is quiet tonight on the Midwestern front...

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